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Citatquiz, vol. 9

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    #16
    Ok, det er, naturligvis: Vampires.

    Vi prøver denne:



    Why shouldn't I work for the N.S.A.? That's a tough one, but I'll take a shot. Say I'm working at N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. Maybe I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself, 'cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people I never met, never had no problem with, get killed. Now the politicians are sayin', "Oh, send in the Marines to secure the area" 'cause they don't give a shit. It won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't them when their number got called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some kid from Southie takin' shrapnel in the ass. And he comes back to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, 'cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile, he realizes the only reason he was over there in the first place was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And, of course, the oil companies used the skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices. A cute little ancillary benefit for them, but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. And they're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, of course, and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and fuckin' play slalom with the icebergs, and it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So now my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive, so he's got to walk to the fuckin' job interviews, which sucks 'cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorrhoids. And meanwhile he's starvin', 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat, the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. So what did I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. I figure fuck it, while I'm at it why not just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president.

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      #17
      Oprindeligt indsendt af MaxHH Se indlæg
      Ok, det er, naturligvis: Vampires.

      Vi prøver denne:



      Why shouldn't I work for the N.S.A.? That's a tough one, but I'll take a shot. Say I'm working at N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. Maybe I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself, 'cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people I never met, never had no problem with, get killed. Now the politicians are sayin', "Oh, send in the Marines to secure the area" 'cause they don't give a shit. It won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't them when their number got called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some kid from Southie takin' shrapnel in the ass. And he comes back to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, 'cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile, he realizes the only reason he was over there in the first place was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And, of course, the oil companies used the skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices. A cute little ancillary benefit for them, but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. And they're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, of course, and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and fuckin' play slalom with the icebergs, and it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So now my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive, so he's got to walk to the fuckin' job interviews, which sucks 'cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorrhoids. And meanwhile he's starvin', 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat, the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. So what did I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. I figure fuck it, while I'm at it why not just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president.
      Enemy of the State?

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        #18
        Nope... :-)

        Comment


          #19
          "How you like THEM apples?"

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            #20
            Oprindeligt indsendt af MaxHH Se indlæg
            "How you like THEM apples?"
            Good Will Hunting..

            Comment


              #21
              Jeps, din serv...

              Comment


                #22
                M: What department is that again?
                K: Frankly, I'm not at liberty to divulge the particulars of the agency I work for, and all that that implies.
                M: You mean, national security?
                K: Let me put it this way. Every so often things happen that can't be rationalized in a conventional way. People wanna know their government has a response. I am that response

                Comment


                  #23
                  Men In Black?
                  - Nicolai

                  Comment


                    #24
                    Oprindeligt indsendt af Nicolai Se indlæg
                    Men In Black?
                    Nope. Men ligesom MIB er humoren også i højsædet i denne film.

                    Comment


                      #25
                      Evolution?

                      Comment


                        #26
                        Oprindeligt indsendt af MaxHH Se indlæg
                        Evolution?
                        Nix.

                        Her er et citat mere:

                        Earl: I'm telling the truth, dang it! It came from outer space. I saw it! And it was headed toward land. I called the government in Washington. Maybe it was a sputnik, or... or an invader from Mars. That's what it is, an invader from Mars! It was a spaceship of some kind. An unidentified flying object...
                        Man: Unidentified? Knowing you, Earl, I'd say it was either whiskey or beer.
                        Dean: Hey! I saw it too.
                        Man: I rest my case.
                        Hogarth: I believe you. What if it is Sputnik, or a flying saucer from Mars? I bet we could find it.
                        Dean: Sorry, kid. I didn't really see anything. But if we don't stick up for the kooks, who will?

                        Comment


                          #27
                          Mars attacks?

                          Comment


                            #28
                            Oprindeligt indsendt af MaxHH Se indlæg
                            Mars attacks?
                            Undskyld mit sene svar. Har været travlt optaget af det dersens jul. Men nope, vi er i tegnefilm-genren..

                            Comment


                              #29
                              Monsters vs aliens? ;-)

                              Comment


                                #30
                                Hehe, nope.

                                Sidste citat, og hvis I ikke kan gætte det ud fra den, så giver jeg op

                                A: Go ahead. Tell him what you saw, Frank.
                                B: You're not gonna believe this, but it was a giant... metal... man.

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